Concerning Reality

While there is (probably) an objective reality, it is the stories we tell ourselves and to each other that makes up our experience of reality on a daily basis.  Our stories are greatly influenced by how, where, when, and under whose care we grew up, and is further molded by the nature of the world around us as we move through time.

The sense of what is real is shared, to a greater or lesser extent, with the people around us.  This is often referred to as our “consensual reality”, that is, an unspoken consensus of what is real and true.  It is easy to see that there can be a great divergence between groups of people with different backgrounds, and it can be jarring to realize that something you hold to be unshakable truth is seen as a fantasy to others.  In a world where so much information is spread around by people with different agendas, these disconnects have become more and more frequent.  

Quite another matter is what happens when a person loses their way in their reality, and begins to think act in a way that does not match the reality of people around them.  We often refer to this as delusion or insanity.  Interacting with someone in a delusional state can be frightening and disorienting.  It can even cause you to question your own motives and reactions.  

We try to see the delusional person’s behavior in terms of how we would react to the same stimulus or circumstance, and there is no connection, no way of understanding it.  This is something that frustrates us when we hear about a sensational crime committed by someone who is acting on instructions from a mind that has come unmoored from our reality.  

The upshot of this is that we can never take for granted what other people see as real.  It is easy to be dismissive of their viewpoints, to hold them at arm’s length, or to run away in fright.  I would hope that when faced with any of these manifestations of differing reality that we would engage our compassion, and remember that we share our humanity with them.  We are all, down deep, fragile flowers and easily crushed.  Hold the flower of your fellow human lightly, and allow it room to flourish, if you can.